Baby Eames
by jekkah
Summary: Bobby returns to New York City and unexpectedly runs into Alex and a surprise. One shot.


_Author's Notes: For the most part, I ignore the LOCI ending that L &O:SVU provided us (easy to do as I don't watch re-runs after season 12), but this one-shot popped up in my head and just wouldn't go away. I hope you enjoy!_

 **Baby Eames**

Robert Goren sighed as he walked the streets of New York. It was a habit that he had always had, but one that seemed to increase tenfold since returning from his failed career as an FBI trainer. While his methods were welcome when the FBI was in a tight spot, it was apparent that they did not approve of him teaching them to their cadets. He found he liked teaching and interacting with the students, though. So, he returned to New York and with the help of an old friend, garnered a position as a professor at a local college. He enjoyed the work, but it left him with lots of time to think, which meant lots of time to wander the streets of New York.

It was misting lightly, but it didn't bother Bobby as he ambled. Today, his thoughts focused on his former partner, Alexandra Eames. Alex, he always called her in his mind, though he rarely used anything but "Eames" aloud. If he was honest with himself, his thoughts were often with her these days. The longer he remained in New York without contacting her, the guiltier he felt, but he had not a single clue as to how to start the conversation with her after so long.

He was a moron. An idiot. A fool. He had taken nearly twelve years of friendship and thrown it away because he had been scared; scared that if he hadn't gotten out of doing the same old job in the same old city that he would die sad and alone with no one to mourn him. It wasn't until he was gone that he realized that he had left behind the one person that had also been there for him and asked for nothing in return. He had left behind the one person that he had loved purely. He had left behind Alexandra Eames.

The rain picked up as if reading Bobby's dark thoughts. He ducked into a grocery store and nearly ran into a stroller. Bobby grabbed the door to hold it open.

"Thank you," the mother replied. "I was rushing and didn't-" She stopped when she looked into Bobby's face. "Oh, my God."

"Alex," Bobby whispered, almost inaudibly. Before he was able to stop himself, he pulled her into a hug. "I can't believe it's you!"

Awe was plastered across her face. "I can't believe it's you either. When did you get back? How long are you here for? Where are you staying? What have you been up to?"

Bobby opened his mouth to reply, but was stopped by a gruff man trying to get into the store. "Maybe we should step inside."

"Sure," Alex agreed, still stunned to see her former partner here of all places. "I was just picking up a few things for dinner."

"I was just ducking in from the rain," Bobby admitted with a chuckle. He glanced down at the stroller as if just connecting it to Alex. "You- you have a baby."

Alex smiled down at the sleeping baby girl. "I do. My little miracle, I call her. I certainly didn't expect to have her at my age!"

Bobby placed his hand on her arm. "You're still young."

"I wish!" she tittered. "Anyway, she's almost ten months old and smart as a whip if I do say so myself."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from a child of yours." Bobby smiled, wistfully. "But you and your," he zeroed in on her left hand and found nothing here, "boyfriend must be very proud."

Flexing her hand, Alex shook her head. "No. No boyfriend. He, uh, didn't want to be involved. He sends a check every month, though, which goes straight into her college fund." She looked around. "This isn't really a conversation to have here, though." Her eyes widened at the disappointment she caught in his face. "Would you, uh, I mean, if you're not busy, would you like to come over for dinner?"

Bobby lifted his face from the ground, excitement shining through his brown eyes. "I'd… I'd like that, yeah. I mean, if it's not too much trouble."

"I wouldn't have offered if it was." Eames led him through the rest of the store, gathering the items on her shopping list. She kept the conversation light, knowing that it was bound to get heavy later. She told him of her retirement from the force and how she now ran a security consulting from her apartment that allowed her to spend time with her daughter, Sadie. In turn, he told her about his new career path as a professor, and his time away.

Reaching her apartment, their conversation turned awkward yet again. To break it, Alex buried herself in making dinner while Bobby entertained Sadie. Alex took over Sadie's care one dinner was ready, feeding both herself and the baby like a pro.

"Let me put her down," Alex said after a quiet dinner, standing and pulling Sadie into her arms, "and we'll talk. I promise."

"Okay," Bobby sighed, rubbing his face. He cleaned her kitchen waiting for return before settling on her couch. Glancing around the room, he found many pictures of her family and especially of Sadie. He did a double-take when he saw a picture of the two former partners in the center of the mantel. Before he had a chance to look at it closer, Alex returned.

Taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, Alex turned her body to face his. "Thanks for cleaning up. You didn't have to."

Bobby grinned, sheepishly, "I know; I wanted to do, uh, something nice."

"So, you want to know about Sadie's dad," Alex jumped into the talk. She sighed when he nodded, enthusiastically. She hadn't forgotten his inquisitive nature. "His name was John and he was a fireman who worked with my brother. He was divorced, no kids, and never wanted any. He thought that I was perfect, too old to get pregnant, but young enough to dance the night away when he was so inclined."

"Was it love?"

Alex chuckled. "No. But it was comfortable. I had someone to take to weddings and to family events. Someone to take into my bed, occasionally." Her eyes widened when she saw a flash of envy and anger in his eyes before he shut it down. "I wasn't disappointed when it was over." Unconsciously, her eyes flickered towards Sadie's door. "I think he was just relieved that I let him go."

Shifting uncomfortably, Bobby muttered, "I can't imagine anyone letting you go."

"You did," Alex shot back. Her voice softened when he recoiled. "I know it's not the same and I stopped being angry at you a long time ago."

"You… you were angry with me?"

She scoffed. "You were my partner, my best friend, and you left without a word. Of course, I was angry with you; I was pissed." She reached across the table to lay her hand on top of his. "But then I realized that if you needed to leave New York, leave me, behind that there had to be a reason. You never do anything without reason. I can only hope that you found what you were looking for."

Bobby looked away, unable to hold her gaze. "I- I thought I had, but it turns out I- I was wrong." He took a deep breath. "A-Alex, I-" Bobby was interrupted by the sound of Alex's phone going off at the same time that Sadie began to cry.

"I have to take this; it's work," Alex groaned, torn between the phone and her daughter.

"You take that and I'll get Sadie," Bobby offered. He hopped up when she nodded gratefully. Entering the nursery quietly so as to not frighten the baby, he was surprised to find that she smiled widely when she saw him, reaching her tiny arms out. With caution, he lifted her from the crib. "Hello there, sweetheart."

Sadie snuggled into his chest, sighing. Bobby shifted her, slightly, checking her diaper. "Well, you're dry so that can't be the issue." He studied her cherub face. "You don't appear to be hungry. Did you have a bad dream?" Sadie giggled. "No, that can't be it. What would a precious thing like you have nightmares about? Maybe you were just lonely, huh?" Bobby glanced around the room, catching sight of a rocking chair that he settled into. "I can understand being lonely. I've spent most of my life being lonely. The only time that I wasn't lonely… well, was when I was with your mom. Your mom is the best person that I know. You're lucky to have her."

He settled the baby against his shoulder, growing melancholy as the baby drifted back to sleep. "Can I tell you a secret, Sadie-girl? I wish I had been the one to be your father. I do. I always wanted to be one. That probably would shock most people given my genetic background, but I did. I just never found the right person to have a baby with until I met your mother." Bobby chuckled. "I've loved your mother so long that I can't remember not loving her. And it scared me. Scared the hell out of me. I didn't know how to handle it so I pushed her away and kept pushing her away while trying to hold onto her at the same time."

Huffing, Bobby rubbed circles on Sadie's back. "The only thing I did was make a mess out of both our lives. So, I ran; I ran far, but I couldn't forget her. She consumed my thoughts every day until I couldn't stand to be away from her anymore. So, I returned, but did I seek her out? No, I was still too afraid. Then, I saw her with you and my heart dropped. I knew right there that if she had a man that it would be the end of me. See, even now, there's the possibility. It may never happen, but it's enough to keep me going."

An intake of breathe from the doorway froze Bobby's heart. He cringed before looking at Eames, who stood with a bewildered expression on her face and a baby monitor in her hand. "The baby's asleep. And we need to talk."

"I'm dead," Bobby hissed to himself as Alex left the room. He hurriedly placed Sadie back in the crib, kissing her forehead just in case it was the last time that he was able to see her and followed Alex into the living room, where she was pacing.

"You wanted to be her father?" Alex stated with no preamble.

Bobby tugged at his collar. "I, um -"

Alex raised her hand to her forehead. "And you love me? You can't remember a time that you didn't love me?"

"Well, I-"

"And you're glad that I'm alone because it gives you hope? Even though you were never planning on telling me any of this." She paused. "Did I sum everything up that you told my ten-month-old?"

Bobby hung his head. "You did."

Shuffling over to him, Alex stood close enough to force him to look at her. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I was," he rubbed the back of his neck, though he didn't move, "scared to tell you. I was afraid that you would push me away."

"So, you pushed me away first?" Her voice was soft and her eyes welcoming, confusing him.

He shrugged. "I… guess. It doesn't make much sense."

"No, it doesn't," Alex agreed, "especially when you could have had me at any time."

Bobby started and his jaw dropped. "What?"

Smiling, Alex took his hand in hers, linking their fingers. "I've been waiting since almost the time that I met you for some sort of sign that you saw me as anything other than your sidekick."

"Sidekick?" he scoffed. "You were never my sidekick. You were-"

"I love you, Bobby," Alex interrupted, unwilling to delay it any further. "I've loved you for years and if you want to be a part of my life and a part of Sadie's life then-"

Bobby kissed her fiercely, stopping her words. He explored every inch of her mouth until he could no longer breathe. They were both panting when he wretched himself away. "I love you, too. And I want to be a part of your life and Sadie's life completely." Bobby fell to his knee. "Alexandra Catherine Eames, will you do me the extreme honor of becoming my wife?"

Alex blushed and laughed. "This is crazy. We haven't even dated!"

"It is crazy," he admitted, "but not as crazy as the fact that I want to get the license tomorrow and marry the day after." He squeezed her hand. "I feel like we've wasted so much time. I don't want to waste anymore."

"I don't either." She nodded. "Let's do it."

Bobby jumped up. "Really?"

"Really."

"Alex!" He picked her up and swung her around, kissing her repeatedly. "I love you. So much."

She laid her hand on his cheek. "I love you, too." She opened her mouth to say more, but was disrupted by Sadie's cries once again. "She's never this fussy. She must have heard us."

Bobby held her back from going to the baby. "Let me. After all, if she's going to be my daughter, I'm going to need a lot of practice."

"Go get her, tiger," Alex giggled, slapping his rear end as he scurried away.

"Oh, that's just going to get you into trouble," he warned, his voice low and sexy. He shook his head before entering the nursery. "It's okay, Sadie-girl. Daddy's here."

THE END


End file.
